08/03/2007

I guess I would say that things are going 90% well. Last night at about 3 a.m. Emery's feeding pump kept getting air in it and wouldn't work, and I kept having to go through this ridiculous process of trying to get it out and then it would start all over again, so I gave it up and put his food in a syringe and gave it to him that way. At about 5 p.m. each night he gets VABS (Very Angry Baby Syndrome). Last night I contemplated calling 911. I had to ask myself WWND? (What would NICU do?) We were still there and he had VABS, they simply would have given him morphine and Ativan and knocked him out. He wasn't acting sick, but a little painful. He had awful gas. His PEG site is infected, too, but the home nurse just told me to clean it a couple of times a day with soap and water and then use Neosporin. He gets a little fussy when I touch it, but nothing in the realm of VABS. Yesterday on the way to the doctor, I looked at him and his lips looked slightly blue so I checked his O2 tank and he wasn't getting any oxygen. I have no idea for how long. The thing is, we weren't sent home with a pulse oximeter so thank God I was sitting in the back seat with him watching him. I'm paranoid and terrified now about his O2. The day before we left, one of the NPs and Dr. W really made us feel that Emery was on the 'brink of death' and too unstable to go home. Dr. W even said that I should have known over the weekend that Emery wasn't going home. I had called all weekend about his increased O2 needs, and I was told several times that the 'docs were unimnpressed' and still planning on sending him home. I asked the home nurse for a home pulse oximeter, and she's going to try and get me one today. Dr. A said they get the babies to a point where they know they are saturating well and they send the babies home so that the parents don't need to worry about it, but I worry that he might pull his cannula out or something. It turns out, I'm getting one today anyway cuz I just talked to Dr. A and he said it was okay to have one for a bit until I'm comfortable. Emery right now is a 2-person job, at least until Erik and I get comfortable with the O2 tanks and the feeding pump. That's the worst of it. The best is that Emery is 'talking' nonstop. He also has figured out how to roll on his side and can work himself around his entire crib. It will only be a matter of time before he rolls all of the way over, which he nearly does at night but I think he just likes to lie on his side during sleep. For a baby on the 'brink of death' he's also managed to put on about half a pound. His new pediarician said he looked good yesterday (he just saw him for a weight check). The home nurse said Iowa City doesn't send babies home if they aren't ready, but because there was such a fuss about it all I'm not sure. Dr. A told my sister that he wouldn't have sent Emery home if he was going to different parents. I don't know if that makes me feel better or worse. It's certainly an adjustment and Erik and I are making the most of it. We have a LOT of help. During the VABS episode last night my sister came over and helped. She's been here each day. Erik's mom came over yesterday and actually folded my laundry and let me nap, so it's not like I'm out alone in left field with no help, and I'm sitting here typing this so I'm not without a moment or two to do some things, I just wish I knew what the fuss was. All in all, though, we are doing well!