02/08/2007

Well, we went from hopeless to a little hopeful. First off, Emery's bacteria was identified and it wasn't the nasty enterobacter so he is off of broad-spectrum antiobiotics and on antiobiotics that the organism is sensitive to. As far as the steroids are concerned, Erik called and talked to Dr. A today. I really wish he could just stay there and take care of him the whole time but that's not going to happen. Basically, Dr. A explained to Erik that when he started the steroid treatment he had a goal in mind and they may make it or they may not, but it's not the end of the world if they don't make it. He started Emery on a very low dose of steroids and they did not see dramatic results with Emery like they do in lots of babies, but there was some improvement. Basically Emery's doing a little more work on breathing than he usually does and his blood gases are hanging in there. But, since there was no dramatic improvement in him the steroids were upped a little bit. Dr. Accaregui wants the ET tube out and the IVs out because babies are so susceptible to infection and Emery's had two in his short 7 weeks of life. The good news is he has never been so sick that he's scared anyone, but sick is sick and it's not good for little babies. He likes to call Emery 'robust,' and he is weighing in around 3 pounds 6 ounces. He's not even 2 months old and he's nearly tripled his birth weight. I think his weight gain will slow down a bit though now that he's on steroids. Oh, and the poor kid gets 'roid rage.' He's had to be sedated several times with Ativan and morphine and I really don't care. I don't want him in pain in the least. His little heels are covered in cuts from daily blood gases. I swear, if I ever get that kid home I will cover those feet with kisses every day. As far as Emery being on the oscillator, the doc said that in the realm best-to-worst with 1 being the best and 10 being the worst as far as vent settings and support, Emery's sitting at about a 2. His lungs are very stiff and they get fluid in them now because of the BPD but all-in-all Emery is holding is own. The hope is to get Emery to a conventional ventilator and then to CPAP. Apparently this can be a very slow process, but where Erik and I were feeling hopeless this morning we now feel better. Of course we are angry and frustrated on many occasions and just so tired. We want our baby home and we didn't want the birth of our first child to be like this. We play head games about how God could fix this and isn't, and of course I like to blame myself because my body couldn't hold him in there any longer, and Erik wants to blame himself but no one is to blame. The hardest thing is that preemies often do pretty well and we've got one that isn't doing 'well.' The truth is, Emery should be doing a little better than what he is. I had severe preeclampsia and that often helps develop babies lungs earlier and Emery's are obviously a 'bit' behind to say the least. He should have walked out of my womb smoking cigarettes. Though it was great seeing him last night while he was aware and looking around and I was touching his funny fuzzy hair, I noticed that the baby across the hall is gone having moved up to bay 2. She was our last remaining long-timer with us. It's crazy, I know, but after she moved up I felt all alone even though all of the beds are full. No more familiar faces strolling along in the NICU except of course the nurses and docs. On the up side, Emery had a double-dose of happy time yesterday because Hope was his nurse during the day and Mandi was his nurse at night. I imagine all of the nurses up there will take care of him more than once. Emery is stable, the infection is getting better, and he's still cute as a button and alive. I'll post more as I know what the weekend entails. Love to all! Sarah, Erik and Emery