03/26/2007

Lots of stuff. Where do I begin. Friday: Erik and I went to see Emery. I had told Erik that visits with Emery were no longer pleasureable because he struggles so much and is in so much pain. Friday was no exception. He became inconsolable. I wanted to give him a bath and he was so mad I thought we probably shouldn't, but the nurse said we weren't going to make him any more mad than he already was so I got to give him a bath. He was okay with it, but generally fussy. Finally, the nurse got tired of him squirming and reaching for his tube so she opened up his diaper and taped his hands in it! It was so funny. He actually stopped fussing and got a look on his face like "ooooh, these guys are serious." Finally, after sedation he calmed down. He was up and down with his sats but all in all was okay. It's just Emery. Saturday: Erik told me he prayed and Emery and I would have a good day. Obviously, we know that he let me hold him for 2 hours. It was nice snuggling with him. I hate seeing him in pain. It hurts me, too. Sunday: Went to church and stayed for the potluck and we had a leisurely drive to Iowa City. Got there and Erik got to hold him. I was worried. Emery had lost 300 gm in just 5 days and then we got there on Sunday and he looked like a red puffy pig. His eyeballs were swollen. He swells with the blood transfusionm but with the steroids he started peeing up a storm! His weight was back up after the blood transfusion. Erik held him and Emery looked at him the whole time. I blew raspberries on his tummy and it sort of made him smile. Sunday: 6:40 p.m Steroids on board now for 24 hours and vent settings waaaaay down. I asked the nurse, 'are you sure they don't want to extubate him?' The answer was still no. Sunday: 9:30 p.m. Erik and I realize we never let the dog out all day. Sunday: 9:35 p.m. Talked to the night nurse and she tried to call. She felt really horrible. It turns out that Emery got a blood transfusion on Saturday night and he was so fussy he bent his IV back and bled into his hand and there was a big bruise. She had to finish it in a vein in his head where he wouldn't fuss it out. She was so apologetic I felt bad for her. Monday: I called this morning. It turns out that little buddy extubated himself with a big blow-out poopy at 3 a.m. They reintubated right away, and this doctor who said he wasn't extubating apparently got mad that they didn't try a try a trial of CPAP! I don't get it. Monday: 8:30 a.m. I called Dr. A. Monday: 11:30 a.m. Dr. A calls back. They are extubating tomorrow *AND* they will wean steroids. Monday: 3:30 p.m. I'm typing. Say prayers for Emery. I told Erik on Sunday that I just didn't think that Emery was going to make it and he said it hurt him when I told him that, but Dr. A said that if they can't get him off the vent they'll just trache him and send him home. He said if 1 was the best range of lung function for preemis and 10 was the worst.. Emery is a 6 or maybe a 7. I asked about the injury outweighing the rate of growth, and he said the injury is there, they know that, they just don't know how much, so I asked how long he could continue to survive sustaining this injury and he said "what does it matter? He'll make it." I laughed. I think that's why I like him. He doesn't give me worry answers or statistics. He just says 'don't worry. He'll make it.' He even went down into the NICU today to talk with Dr. S and they came up with a plan for Emmers. Tomorrow we know if Em has made progress.