04/30/2007

Greetings everyone from Emeryville (there is actually a city called Emeryville), Today the nurse pracitioner called me to tell me the plan. There was no over-expansion in Emery's lungs today, so no weaning of the pressures, but they did wean nitric by a whopping 1 ppm (part per million). It really didn't make much difference for him. His CO2 was still beautiful at 54 and he's oxygenating well. She actually called and said "so did you hear about the kidney stone?" I said yes, I'd heard, and she said "No, I mean do you know about it's size?" I said I didn't and she said "It's the biggest kidney stone we've ever seen in a baby. We've seen them like that in kids in the PICU but not in a baby. The urologist was quite impressed." Now, dadburnit. Please say some prayers that the stone will break up and pass. I asked why they weren't shocking it to break it up and she said it was too big. The hope was that the body would absorb it and break it up and it will pass. If it obstructs then he will have surgery. It is in this regard that I am glad I am not up there with him 24/7. I hate watching him in pain. I can hardly stand it sometimes. It's gotten to the point that if I think about it I start to go crazy. They are keeping him comfortable, but of course I've had several people tell me how that is the most painful thing someone can experience. I don't want to hear that my baby is going through the most painful thing one can experience. If I think about it I can't eat or sleep. To say it's tough is to minimize it. Another thing, Erik and I have always wondered of Emery can see. I mean, I know he can see things because if you put your fingers up close to his eyes he blinks and moves his head, but I mean does he know we are there? Does he know it's us? On two special occasions Emery has actually met my eyes with his, and these were special because he got a look on his face like "hey, it's my Mommy and she's here!" It was a recognition thing. I know he recognized me. Other times, his eyes just wander. He's constantly looking left and right and everywhere but on the person in front of him, so it was really neat on Sunday when the nurse came him and lifted him up into a sitting position. He looked at me, and then Erik moved behind me across the room and Emery followed him, even moving his head and watching Erik as he walked across the room.