03/01/2007

A little info, albeit not much. Every doctor has a different opinion, a different idea.. and I think honestly that is why babies do so well at the U of I. First of all, I know so many of you have been praying for all of us and we are very grateful. I'd like to ask you to include the NICU staff in your prayers, not for Emery's sake but because, when you or I have a bad day it's something like chipping a nail, the car breaking down, maybe a coworker is an idiot, the boss is breathing down your neck, the spouse is chewing fingernails again.. whatever. Think about what a bad day in the NICU would entail... and then say a prayer for all of them. So, yesterday was Dr. D's last day but he came in and had a long talk with us. I was concerned that Emery's vent settings were higher, and he said not really because Emery's O2 requirements are actually less now and more stable than they were coming off the oscillator, and his blood gases are okay.. not great but in range. Remember, Dr. A said not to pay attention to blood gases, that his oxygen requirements would let us know what he needs, and then Dr. D went to twice-daily blood gases and didn't challenge him off the vent. My concern was if he was rebounding worse from the steroids was it beneficial to treat him with them since they do have the obvious side effects and risks. He said that Emery benefits great from the steroids and in his opinion there is no reason to do this next course that was due today because his O2 requirements are low and he's stable. But - a new doctor started today and that may all change. I called today after rounds and the nurse said she overheard them saying that his chest x-ray looked a little better, but I had to laugh at that. His chest x-ray always looks like crap. He has severe lung disese. We were told last night, though, that Emery will continue to grow new alveoli for years and will have a normal life, but he should be grounded if he ever smokes. Erik and I talked about this and we decided to tell Emery from a very young age that smoking would break his mother's heart and probably kill her. That way, Emery can resent me and fear Erik and we can establish a typical dysfunctional American family early on. Erik held him last night for about an hour and Emery really liked it and slept very well in Daddy's arms, only desatting when it was time to eat, of course! So, we're back to time and patience.. time and patience. Part of why this makes me nervous is because kids have a tendency to get sick in the NICU, but I think I'm starting to come to the realization that if God wants Emery to go, Emery's going to go and there is nothing anyone can do. Dr. D did tell us last night that Emery is not the sickets baby in the NICU, nor is he even close to the sickest baby they have ever seen. He said he's not even in the top 10, which is good. This is the U of I and the last thing you want to do is set a record for worst baby. I did say "well, he's had 16 doses of surfactant and no matter how hard I try to find another baby out there like him I can't," to which Dr. D replied, "well, he is in the top 10 at our facility for that." Phooey. Oh well. We knew Emery's lungs were crappy and he has "wimpy white boy syndrome." How the pale males ever came to running the planet is beyond me. He's of course still beautiful. I'm going to try and get pictures this weekend of him with his eyes open. He has such an aware look about him that it's funny. Oh, he had another eye exam yesterday. So far there is no progression of disease. He still has stage 1 ROP with no surgery planned at this time. Take care! Sarah, Erik and Emery