05/16/2007

Emery isn't sick. His CBC and CRP came back normal. He's still requiring 55% oxygen. I had to come upstairs because I can't stop looking at the monitors. It reminds me of his steroid rebound. The NNPs came in to talk to us tonight when we got here and I told them about it, but all in all Emery doesn't seem like he feels good. He's sleeping in daddy's arms right now, and his O2 needs keep going up. Before I finally came upstairs they were nearing 60%. I know I know. One step forward, two steps back, three steps forward, one back blah blah blah. I hate the bad days. I just want him better, but I realized there will never be better with Emery. His lungs will always be an issue as will illnesses. A common cold will land him in the hospital. Then, there will be the developmental issues and the other 'unforeseen' health issues, and when I see him do so well it's hard to remember that there is still a possibility of him never coming home. I really really want to just be grateful for the way things are. I'm sure everyone is sick of me complaining. I know Erik is. I really do try not to.