05/22/2007

Care page revamped. I've been going back and deleting things left and right. One of the YFC students said she couldn't get into it because I must've typed something inappropriate, and I had noticed once that things I had typed actually came across with asterixes, so I've been revamping this thing; hence, no update. Well, and the fact that there is no update. As far as the kidney stone, it's being reevaluated tomorrow. We never did talk to the urologist on Monday as they were out of town at a convention. I somehow can't get that part out of my head about the report stating that Emery was very ill. I haven't slept much. I called today after rounds and the nurse said they were going to do something respiratory wise with Emery but the doc changed his mind after he saw the chest x-ray. She said she didn't know what they were planning on doing. It could be they were planning on going down on his pressure and changed their mind because he was collapsed down or that they were going to go up on his pressure to help him oxygenate better but he was overexpanded. Emery has been requiring sometimes 60% oxygen. He's been back on the nitric for 8 days so he should be better by now. Emery's CO2 was 47 on Monday, which is also slowly on the rise. I don't know if he's slowly getting worse or not. No one has really reassured us from the kidney stone aspect, either, because the doc basically said he didn't know what they would do because it is so rare in a baby that it has to be strictly a urology thing. I really thought Emery was getting better and no one has said anything about this being a back slide or that BPD babies do this back and forth thing, although the doc did say to not get too worked up about the oxygen because that will always change. I can't help but wonder though that every other time his oxygen needs went up they came down within a day or so but not this time. Also, if it was a time and growth thing, Emery is 5 months old and I just wonder if we should have seen something by now in the way of him not desatting as much or being able to tolerate less oxygen. He did give us his first 'social' smile on Sunday. We ha a ball with him that day. He smiled at us and let us hold him for a good length of time. Tomorrow, I'm going to go up there so I will be there for the urology consultation, the eye exam and rounds. That way nothing will be lost in translation and I won't drive the nurse practitioners nuts anymore. I hope the kidney stone is able to be removed without an open procedure. I hope Emery is not getting sick. He was started on famotidine also. The music therapist told Erik that we were doing a good job with Emery because he was a social baby, but we're there so little that we certainly can't take any of the credit. I think if Emery is really sick I might have to take maternity leave now. I don't want him to be sick and not be there for him any more. The guilt is really eating me up.